The Teen Code on Drugs Baldwinsville NY

by Rhett Godfrey with Neale S. Godfrey

Preparation, preparation, preparation. That is really what all talks are for, to prepare us for tough situations that we might or might not encounter and have to handle by ourselves in the future. And as far as tough situations go, drug use -- where our decisions could potentially threaten our lives -- is pretty high on the list.

The drug talks, like the ones on sex, are what I call the "don't-do-it" talks -- because they're the ones where many parents' basic message is just that: "Don't do it." But even here, there may be a difference in some families. With sex, some parents might say, "Don't do it until college, or until a certain age, or until you're married, and then do it in a responsible way," but with drugs the word is more likely to be, "Don't do them ever."

The "don't do it" talks can be the most challenging for you and your teenager, and everyone would probably rather just avoid them, but the consequences of not talking about the tough topics are much worse than the short-lived discomfort and awkwardness of talking about them. And the hardest things to talk about are also the ones we need your help with the most.

You Can Make a Difference

Okay, I'm sure you're thinking, "I know I have to talk to my kids about drugs, but will it really make a difference?" I had the same question for teenagers: Can what your parents say -- and how they say it -- really change the way you think about drugs? The overwhelming answer I heard was "Yes! Well, maybe." Yes, teenagers generally do want to hear what their parents have to say, and maybe because it depends on how their parents talk to them.

Teens were very open about sharing their thoughts with me about things you could do that would make your drug conversations more comfortable and, therefore, more productive. Most important of all, they say that by doing these things, you'll have a better chance of affecting our decision making regarding sex and drugs. (I'll give you their thoughts on alcohol and cigarettes in the next chapter and on sex in chapter 3.)

So, here's the scoop.

"We listen better when you start early."

Drug talks can have different effects at different ages. I'm sure it doesn't come as a surprise that if you can talk to your child before she's experimented with drugs, you will have a better chance to get through to her and influence her decision making. Once she's already begun experimenting with drugs, you have a different challenge: trying to get her to stop, and that's assuming that you even know that she is using drugs in the first place.